SoulSpeak™

it has been a-while since i have last posted anything here if am not mistaken it might have been since last august...

i guess i havent posted alot cause i think i was having too much "online" time than i should... the "world wide web" (the internet as we all so familiarly call it) and myself have had a love hate relationship for the longest time...

facts:

my last relationship was maintained and was ended (OUCH!) online...

i have kept in contact with a close friend when she was here and while she was back at her country thru msn and yahoo...

wow! hehehe!

whats sad is, at some point i feel like i can express myself better thru IM's than in person (am really working to get back my people skills!!!)...

so there... well that was a prequel to my formal blog...

so ok here i go...

i turned 27 last september 9... how can i say it.... i had a great time,it was a sunday and the church's album was released...

but to be honest, at the end of the day... i felt left alone... (hold yer breath people this is gonna turn into a tear-jerker in a minute!)

i remember looking forward to that day last november... i was awaiting my visa application result from the british embassy... i said to myself... "probably on my 27th birthday i'll be in england and happily married working as a youth pastor for this church"...
how things have turned to the opposite...

i want everyone to understand that, i aint a "phony" nor am i being "plastic" when i laugh or smile... i genuinely am happy, i really am...

i think a sunday school song describes it best... it goes,
"...with Christ as my vessel i can smile at the storm, until he sails me home..."
i belive God has given me this ability to just smile and laugh and show no sign of sorrow in public...

but when i get home the song kinda changes... a familiar song starts playing and goes...
".....they dont know,that i come running home when i fall down... they dont know who picks me up when no one is around..."

WHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!

well after a fantastic pep talk the other day (thanks babe! and oh,you SHOULD start reading my blog!!!!) and lots of meditation of the word...

i have finally understood everything perfectly and had come to the realization that i am where God intended me to be... that i am in his perfect will... that i am walking daily in his loving grace... in him i am COMPLETE!!!

dont get me wrong folks, i still want to get married (i have moved on!) and i know i am gonna get married to the person God has made specifically and specially for me... i could even elaborate more on it, i dont want to start kindling gossip but yes i am praying for someone... ENOUGH SAID! CHANGING TOPIC... ;)

well i think this post has "made up" for "lost time"...

to cap it all off...

the Jo-ster says this...

"patience is a virtue...
virtue is a grace...
but only His grace is more that enough for me!"